


I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to feel

by yuraxchan



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4020184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weather had been bad all week, forcing the two young souls to stay home with nothing to do on their Christmas holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to feel

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the exchange kaitaem@LJ

 

 

The raindrops were slowly sliding down the windows, and the only sound you could hear from the outside was the rhythmic tip tap from the rain hitting the glass. The scenery was mesmerizing yet gloomy. The weather had been bad all week, forcing the two young souls to stay home with nothing to do on their Christmas holidays. If Jongin was content - elated even - at the idea of staying indoor, Taemin didn’t share the same sentiment. And he had no problem voicing out his complaint at his companion either.  
  
“I’m bored,” The older one sighed, breaking the silence. He was sitting on the floor, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the smooth white carpet Jongin had pestered him about for weeks when they moved in. “Jongin-ah, are you listening to me?” He whined pitifully, making puppy eyes at his lover who wasn’t even looking at him.  
  
The younger simply hummed, not bothering to reply with words, and Taemin grimaced. Jongin loved watching the rain, the sound was comforting and it made him feel emotional. He always found himself thinking about his family, his childhood, his past self. Sometimes, the longing feeling arising in his chest became painful, but when it happened Taemin always knew how to distract him. Jongin tended to forget his surroundings when he was deep in thoughts and Taemin was the lucky one who could break his shell.  
  
The younger was currently sitting on the couch, his knees folded against his chest and his eyes glued to the wet window. Only dressed in a warm white sweater, his nude calves and feet were barely visible against the black leather couch.  
  
Taemin noticed though. He always noticed these things, particularly with Jongin. He was shamelessly ogling Jongin’s naked skin, his head tipped back against the couch at the younger’s feet. His hair was brushing Jongin’s feet but the younger didn’t seem to mind. Or maybe he was just that entranced by the rain.  
  
Smiling softly, Taemin’s gaze softened at the thought. Typical Jongin. Taemin turned to his side and looked up at the younger man, putting his head on his arms. Jongin looked peaceful like that. Taemin knew his lover’s mind was far from him at times like this, and as selfish as it sounded he hated it. He wanted Jongin to stay right here, with him, and not in some alternate world he built in his head. But he  _knew_  Jongin needed that, needed to lose himself in his head from time to time.  
  
It was oddly endearing for Taemin, and simply odd for others. Taemin got it though, and a part of him was glad he was the only one able to reach out to Jongin when he became unattainable and closed himself off in his bubble.  
  
Taemin’s hand moved on it’s own, gently stroking Jongin’s feet. At first, it was only to get his attention but when it failed Taemin continued his ministrations just to earn a reaction. It didn’t work though, as Jongin stayed motionless and unresponsive. Frowning, Taemin trailed his fingers along his calf towards his knee, making the younger shiver under his touch, and grasped it with more force. Jongin snapped back to reality. He looked at his lover’s hand then at his face. “What?” He mumbled, confused.  
  
“I’m bored,” Taemin muttered with a pout. “Entertain me.” He pleaded while shaking Jongin’s leg and biting his calf gently.  
  
The younger rolled his eyes at his childishness and batted his hand away, grimacing at the drool on his leg before covering them with the white sweater. “Let me enjoy the rain in peace, please.” He mumbled, going back to watch the window, completely uninterested in what Taemin had to say.  
  
Taemin sighed and flopped down on the carpet, annoyed and still bored. He looked at the ceiling in silence for a while before sitting up again. He couldn’t stay still. Trying another approach, he crept up the couch and sat behind Jongin, hovering close to his body without touching him.  
  
Honestly, he was a bit scared to disturb the younger and get rejected. He was screwed if it happened because he had nothing to do and would become crazy with boredom if he didn’t succeed in gaining Jongin’s attention to make out or something. He would gladly admit that the _something_  was more than tempting.  
  
He waited a moment, careful not to jolt the younger, then put his head on his shoulder, grinning, feeling triumphant, when Jongin didn’t try to dislodge him. Rubbing his cheek on his shoulder, he slid an arm around Jongin’s waist and poked his stomach. “What are you doing?” Jongin asked, nonplussed. “You’re warm” was Taemin’s muffled answer. The younger only sighed, used to Taemin’s unexpected needs to cuddle.  
  
They stayed in the same position for a few minutes before Taemin got impatient and glued himself to Jongin, back to chest. Jongin let him have his way, relaxing in his arms and letting go of his sweater as Taemin circled both of his arms around his middle. They were locked in a warm embrace, their breathing as the only sound matching the sound of the rain.  
  
Of course, it couldn’t be that easy. Taemin had other ideas for them. He slid his hands towards Jongin’s naked legs, caressing them softly, and a chill ran through the younger’s body. Then, the older one ran them along his marvelous thighs, pushing the sweater away and exposing more skin in the process. Understanding immediately drew on Jongin and he groaned. He should have known.  
  
“Taemin, please,” He began. “Not now…” He already knew it was a lost battle though. Jongin had learned long ago that he couldn't resist Taemin’s affection, not that he ever wanted to anyway.  
  
Taemin smiled against his back and planted a kiss on the crook of his neck, knowing he had won. “I’m not doing anything, am I?” His lips moved onto Jongin’s neck and he sucked a patch of skin there, tearing of a gasp from the younger.  
  
Knowing all of Jongin’s sensitive spots, Taemin then bit his lobe gently before licking his ear sensually. Jongin tensed in his hold and let out his first sigh of pleasure but not the last. Soon, the younger was reduced to a boneless and pliant mess under his lover’s sensual and tortuous ministrations. Taemin chose this moment to become bolder, sliding his hands under the sweater to caress Jongin’s stomach and sides as he kissed his neck with more passion. He wanted to devour Jongin.  
  
The younger let his arms fall at his sides as Taemin did all the work, loving the feeling of being taken care of – in more ways than one. He turned his head to the side to capture Taemin’s mouth with his and moaned softly when their lips met in a bruising kiss. Taemin then became more aggressive as he gripped his hair to deepen the kiss, his teeth nibbling on Jongin’s lips, as his other hand traveled between the younger’s legs. He palmed Jongin through his underwear before sliding his hand under the waistband, teasing him, as he bit his lover’s upper lip. Jongin gasped and pulled away from the kiss when Taemin’s fingers began to stroke him to full hardness, breathing hotly against the older’s mouth.  
  
Jongin’s eyes were half closed in pleasure, small puffs of air escaping from his parted lips, and Taemin smirked at him, grinding his own hard on against the younger’s backside. Jongin spread his legs wider, his hips moving of their own accord to meet Taemin’s thrusts as his lover jerked him off at a faster rhythm.  
  
The older one tangled their legs together, his feet caressing Jongin’s ankles. Taemin needed to  _touch_  him everywhere. At some point, Taemin pulled off his T-shirt and slid down the couch, forcing Jongin to lie on him with Jongin's back still against his chest. Jongin hastily removed his boxers, throwing them somewhere on the ground, but kept the sweater on as Taemin only pushed his own underwear mid-thighs.  
  
Kissing became difficult in the position they were in but they made it work somehow. It was messy and sloppy, Taemin’s hand around Jongin’s shaft, pumping him slowly and carefully, as Jongin grinded his ass on the older one’s cock and tried not to crush Taemin. Jongin felt hot all over, sweating in his warm sweater as he chased his orgasm, feeling delirious with the heat of their bodies molded together. Taemin’s grip on the younger’s hip was hard but not painful as he moved swiftly under him to gain more friction.  
  
“Bless your ass, Jongin-ah” He whispered hotly in the younger’s ear, feeling his balls tighten. He was so close it hurt. He wanted to hear Jongin moan louder but the younger one had never been particularly vocal in bed – what a shame really because it was one of Taemin’s fantasies to hear him cry, beg and scream under him,  _maybe another time_.  
  
Knowing Jongin would be frustrated if they came in that position, he flipped them over - without difficulty, until Jongin was lying on his stomach with Taemin hovering behind him. Licking his lips at the delicious view, Taemin removed his boxers, pushed the sweater under Jongin’s armpits and lay down once again, gluing himself against his lover’s back one more time.  
  
One of his hands found Jongin’s cock as he guided the younger’s body, ass up towards him, the other one resting on his hip. Taemin mouthed at Jongin’s skin, biting his back gently and leaving pretty red marks all over it before sliding his own cock between Jongin’s ass cheeks and plush thighs. To say Jongin had a glorious ass was an understatement.  
He quickly settled for a faster rhythm, feeling Jongin’s orgasm approaching if the shivers that ran through his body were of any indication. Shuddering and moaning wantonly under him, Jongin’s mouth parted in a silent cry as he came in Taemin’s hand, his back arching beautifully under the older one’s body.  
  
Taemin gave a few more thrusts, gripping Jongin’s hips tightly, before following him and coming on the inside of his thighs, painting his skin in white. Slumping against the younger’s back, Taemin breathed harshly, trailing kisses on his warm skin. “You’re so hot,” a kiss, “so beautiful under me,” another kiss, “so perfect for me”, a lick to the small of his back, “I can’t get enough of you, Jongin-ah”, he mumbled.  
  
Jongin stayed still a moment before trying to turn over, lying on his side. He looked back at his lover and smiled, feeling content. Taemin sat up, not wanting to crush him, and brushed his hair out of his face lovingly. Jongin had been drooling all over the couch where a wet patch could be seen, he was sweaty and flushed, and he had come on his stomach and thighs but he still looked flawless in Taemin’s eyes.  
  
The older one helped Jongin sit up to remove his sweater because the younger had looked uncomfortable, and locked him in an embrace. His lover didn’t resist and easily fell into his arms, letting out a small sigh. “Are you satisfied now you big baby?” He muttered against Taemin’s neck.  
  
Pouting, the older one nodded and cradled him, kissing his forehead. “I don’t like it when you ignore me.”  
  
“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just thinking about things,” Jongin replied softly. “Mostly about you though. You don’t have to worry about me not thinking about you, you know.”  
  
Pleased by the answer, Taemin bent down and cupped his face to bring him in for a kiss, their lips meeting tenderly. Eventually, they had to move to clean themselves up. Jongin threw him a meaningful glance when he eyed the come stains on the couch and Taemin knew he would be the one to clean it, again. It was fair though, he had been the one coaxing Jongin to have sex on the couch when he knew the younger was a clean freak.  
  
As soon as they entered the bathroom, Jongin smiled widely, a strange glint in his eyes. “Bath?” He asked, fluttering his eyelashes. Jongin was such a kid. Taemin could only nod, laughing as Jongin jumped in the bathtub to open the tab and pour more shower gel than necessary to get lots of bubble. Giggling, the younger sat down and looked up at Taemin expectantly, waiting for the older one to join him.  
  
If he knew how to have his way with Jongin, the contrary was also true, he could never say no to Jongin, not that he had ever wanted to – or maybe once when Jongin wanted to buy the white carpet; Taemin was always the clumsy one, dropping things, so he had knew from the start that he would be the one to clean it regularly, and he had been right.  
  
But watching Jongin lying on the white carpet in all his naked glory when he convinced him to sleep on it to watch the stars or the sunset after an intense round of sex had been worth all the cleaning he would ever do. Definitely.  
  
Taemin settled behind the younger and opened his arms to envelop him in an embrace, Jongin molding himself against his chest with a content sigh. “Seriously though, were you thinking about sad stuff again?” Taemin asked, nosing at his cheek.  
  
“Not really,” Jongin replied. “Maybe a little. But you were here to hold my hand, so it’s fine. I’m fine.”  
  
Taemin simply hummed, trying not to worry too much. Jongin had said a few times before that sometimes he needed to let himself be sad. In order to be happy, to cherish his actual life, he needed to remember the hardships, the bad memories, the pain. He couldn’t heal completely even if he tried his hardest but he wanted to get better, to feel thankful for the life he led now, with Taemin. He had to acknowledge all the scars and heartbreaks of his past. It was a part of him and he never wanted to forget who he had been before.  
  
Taemin got it, kind of, well he tried to, but sometimes he was scared Jongin would get lost in his memories and wouldn’t come back to him. He didn’t want Jongin to fade out, to forget who he was now because of his past, so he never let Jongin get sad more than necessary.  
  
Jongin, as if sensing his thoughts, turned his head and kissed the corner of his lips a few times before getting his hands out of the water to cup his face. “Thank you,” he smiled, “for worrying about me.” The “but don’t” was left unsaid but still rang loud and clear in Taemin’s mind, so he briefly closed his eyes and smiled, thinking an “Okay, I’ll try” that he didn’t voice out.  
  
Grinning, Jongin kissed him deeply, turning his body around to sit on his lap. Taemin groaned against his lips and gripped his hips tightly. They kissed languidly until they got breathless and laughed at each other’s red face.

 

 


End file.
